Below please find the LJ of Jenny Rowland, who fears no Google.

HOW ARE THERE EVEN THAT MANY DANDELIONS IN THE WORLD

Mon, 13 May 2013 03:01:00 GMT

Me after working on our backyard rain garden for six hours: *ded*
Our backyard rain garden after six hours of being worked on: *totally sweet-looking*

It's a fair trade-off, I think. Although I may change my mind tomorrow when it's time to go to work and potentially deal with some stuff that's been going on there, AND I'm ALSO stuck limping like a sore limpy thing.

Giant piles of native plants are neat.

Comby, I hardly knew ye

Thu, 09 May 2013 12:55:09 GMT

The comb I have been using since 1996, and which combed my hair better than any other comb ever, just broke. Snapped right in two.

I'm sad now.

Qvack.

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 23:48:30 GMT

(Really, self? You can't be bothered to post about the car accident you were in like a month ago, or how last weekend was the best weekend ever, but you CAN post part of a stupid email conversation between you and your work friends? You're just weird.)

Here, have part of a stupid email conversation between me and my work friends. Everyone except me gets dumb nicknames because why not.

From: The Engineer
Subject: Lunch 4/12
No idea where or when.  [We frequently eat lunch together as a group, and usually The Engineer is the one who herds us into action.]

From: Officemate
Subject: RE: Lunch 4/12
soup and oyster crackers

From: The Engineer
[The cafeteria] is probably alright. 11:30?

From: Officemate
SOUP AND OYSTER CRACKERS

From: Jenny Rowland
Should we break her heart by telling her that the crackers aren’t actually made from real oysters?

From: Tape Delay
Wouldn’t she prefer that since it wouldn’t be real meat then?  [Officemate very much enjoys eating salads.]

From: Berb
Everyone knows oyster crackers (and the other related, bland crackers like saltines) are made of sawdust and tears from the sweatshop children who make them.

From: Officemate
[I]f that is how you make the crackers, is it the kids’ job to just sit around and cry in to sawdust all day? Seems like a pretty posh job to me.

From: Tape Delay
No we make them do all of the sawing to create the sawdust too.

From: The Engineer
Well, at my sweatshops, we punch them in the face repeatedly to make them cry.

The punchers and the punchees change every shift.

From: Jenny Rowland
Okay, let me make sure I have this straight.

At this sweatshop, the children are tasked with sawing, crying, punching, and making crackers.

The hell?

From: Berb
Yes. Also, just to make sure we get a fair amount of work out of them (18 hours per day at least), they saw the wood into sawdust-sized pieces. Any sawdust that is created from the actual sawing is discarded.

From: Jenny Rowland
...

The hell??

From: The Engineer
Let’s phrase this another way:

Would you rather fight a horse-sized duck or 100 duck-size horses?

From: Jenny Rowland
Is it an option to ride the duck?

From: The Engineer
No.

[couple of images passed back and forth between Officemate and The Engineer, making fun of each other]

From: Jenny Rowland

Sorry guys, this is my headcanon now.

True story.

I have a real thing to post about from Tuesday, but that's work.

Fri, 08 Mar 2013 15:08:55 GMT

Me: [wearing my Don't Hate The Deadite, Hate The Necronomicon shirt]
Guy serving coffee at work coffee cart: "Have you seen the trailer for the new Evil Dead?"
Me: . o O ( You are my new best friend for the day. )

I hang out with almost 100% non-horror-liking people at work, so someone recognizing my doofy referency shirt and starting a conversation about its referenced topic, when I'm anywhere but a horror con, is pretty much teh best.

I maed a userpic.

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 01:50:37 GMT

Because Renard.

I also roleplayed myself into not being able to get armor any time soon, which was cool I guess.

Wed, 27 Feb 2013 05:21:47 GMT

Someday -- some far-off day -- I am convinced that I will finally see the end of people cracking five straight minutes of fat jokes when I am RIGHT FUCKING THERE AT THE TABLE. It's like "ha ha, you're right! Bill Clinton SHOULD be invited to all parties since that way 'the fatties' WOULD finally get some attention! They'll certainly never get any otherwise, for obvious reasons! Ha ha ha ha ha die in a fire."

This magical day will be about a week after I first win the lottery and then get a pet unicorn.

Aside from that, though, the weekly Scion game was p fun tonight.

Dear creepypasta writers:

Tue, 26 Feb 2013 04:28:38 GMT

taunt ≠ taut
here ≠ her
then ≠ than
too ≠ to ≠ two
their ≠ they're ≠ there
where ≠ were
"gutter moan" ≠ a thing, you're probably looking for "guttural"
all be it ≠ albeit wtf why are you choosing the one that's MORE work

Do you know no one who can do a two-minute proofread run before you submit your "completed" story? Surely you have friends. If none of them understand English either then make new friends. Although I'll withhold my mockery from people who learned another language first, as opposed to those who apparently haven't even learned the one yet.

Also, and this is for everyone, sometimes it's okay to put the thesaurus down. You don't have to bog down a basically good idea with wording like "twelve years prior to this moment in time". It's ago. The phrase you're looking for is twelve years ago.

In conclusion, write moar better.

Signed,
someone who has been reading WAY too much crappy creepypasta.

(Although every once in a while there's a piece that's really delightfully clever, if you don't mind a slightly weak ending.

Also I typed "weak" as "week" at first and somehow turned "while there's" into "while's there". And "into" started out as "until" in that last sentence. AND today in an email I managed to type a plural word with an apostrophe-S before I caught myself. OH GOD IT'S SPREADING SEND HELP)

Is this the subject field? I can't tell. Dang phone browser.

Thu, 14 Feb 2013 05:52:24 GMT

I'm at karaoke! With people! And I had a whole beer PLUS a cocktail! I am livin CRAZY, yo.

Not singing myself, tho, I'm not THAT crazy.

(edit: yay, it was the subject field)

I feel like this wasn't really necessary, but I guess I won't complain.

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 02:47:48 GMT

I can't wait for my favorite one... and I don't have to. Because I've owned it. For 14 years.

(also not sure what that video has to do with the song BUT WHATEVS)

I hate the idea that any stranger may summon me any time just because they want to sell me something

Sun, 10 Feb 2013 17:51:14 GMT

I'm really sure what part of this DOESN'T say "no soliciting".

But judging from those footprints, the snow that has not been shoveled from our front walk one single time this winter is not sufficient deterrent. At least, not to the Jehovah's Witnesses, and whoever it was who came to the door the other day but didn't leave anything.

Technically our neighborhood covenant bans No Soliciting signs, but we find ourselves not entirely in a mind to obey that bit. If the HOA doesn't like it then they can take it up with the Supreme Court who said decades ago that that is the only correct way for a homeowner to keep door-to-door peoples off their lawn. Or put general "no soliciting around these parts" signs up for us! That works too.

This house is my private domain, and you have no idea what I'm doing when you ring the bell or knock on the door -- I could be sitting down to a nice meal, I could be in the shower, I could be sleeping during the day because I work nights. But no matter what I'm doing, even if I am literally just sitting there staring at a wall, you still have no fucking business interrupting me. I'm especially talking to you, Jehovah's Witness person who rang TWICE and LEANED ON THE BELL the second time.

Sadface.

So much for that theory.

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 05:33:54 GMT

Turns out the actual Chang Jiang receipt was in my sweatshirt pocket.

That means the mystery Fort Wayne receipt was from... when I went out for lunch on Saturday, maybe? Even though I never left the Madison area on Saturday any more than I did today? I don't know. It's just all very WHO WAS RECEIPT?

Also! Check these out yo!

The Storyteller for our Scion game is using the pizza wheel method of figuring out whose turn it is, so he wanted us to bring inch-ish sized tokens to represent us on the pizza. These are one-inch squares of matboard, done up in ink and color pencil and then laminated. Color pencil smears, y'all.

The skull is for mecha, because he's playing a child of Hel, the Norse god of a very cold underworld. The vacutainer of blood is mine, because my character is an Aztec-god-worshipping phlebotomist!

Everyone else is probably gonna be like "here is a scrap of paper with my character's initial on it" and I will be all "OH HERE IS MY HAND-ARTED CUSTOM-MADE PERSONALIZED TOKEN THAT'S BEEN LAMINATED BECAUSE I AM LE FANCY". See also: my character backstory, which was 1800 words long.

Spacey wacey wibbly wobbly stuff

Sun, 03 Feb 2013 19:31:36 GMT

Today I put my hand into my pants pocket and found a receipt.

Here it is, unchanged except for my covering up the card number:

~~The date is today's date.~~ ETA: okay poop I just realized that it's yesterday's date which makes this less awesome BUT WHATEVER

The time is, converted into GMT and then back to my local time, very close to the time when I found this receipt.

But I'm not sure I've ever been to Fort Wayne in my life.

I am 100% not making this up. Obviously I've been reading too many creepypastas, my life has now turned into one, and my pants pocket is quantum-linked with someone else's, with what will wind up being disastrous results.

Full disclosure: I'm pretty sure that this was the customer copy of the receipt I got from the local Chinese place, which is where I was freshly back from when I was emptying out my pockets. I mean, I remember doing something with said customer copy, and stuffing it into my pants pocket is a reasonable assumption. However, I don't get why the merchant copy said Chang Jiang and $12.98 while this copy very much does not, and thus I will continue to find the whole situation delightfully mysterious.

superridick

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 03:49:32 GMT

I still want to be Sparkle Park when I grow up. Although the hair is a bit high-maintenance for me. How often would you have to get your hair re-shaved to keep that lightning bolt? Once a week? Twice?

Totally unrelated: I have begun taking part in a Scion campaign! My character can't be bothered with fancy haircuts either.

Tigers In Refrigerators

Sat, 19 Jan 2013 05:03:49 GMT

I've started analyzing gender roles in Transformers: Beast Wars send help D: D: D:

(Image taken from episode titled The Low Road. One of the male Transformers is LITERALLY DYING in this picture, but he still manages to not drape himself around the leg of the closest male authority figure.)

srsly you guys send help

I maed a graf.

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 04:27:49 GMT

*opens weekly news digest email that is usually full of varyingly-interesting stuff*

*willingness to silently accept "Fatty Fat Death Fats who will all die early are killing us with their fatness" rhetoric is pushed beyond limits*

*a couple hours of looking up numbers and then trying to force LibreOffice to make a graph that doesn't suck*

It's almost like weight and health aren't 100% exact synonyms you guys :O :O :O

I'd argue that the US is actually an outlier and doesn't belong on this graph at all, what with our health system being run FOR PROFIT such that MILLIONS OF DOLLARS are made off of LETTING PEOPLE DIE INSTEAD OF TREATING THEM, but that's probably caused by the existence of fat people somehow. Maybe even the same fat people who avoid going to the doctor as much as possible, thus getting sicker than they otherwise would, because they know they won't receive the same care or basic human respect that a thin patient would. (I've begun wondering recently whether there might have been a reason why I spent a year with a failing organ while multiple doctors skipped actually examining me in favor of just telling me to change what I ate. OBVIOUSLY I was lying when I swore to them that I wasn't eating spicy food. What fatty DOESN'T lie about their eating habits?)

There, I think I can go back to my usual apathy now. I've got other research to do anyway. I think I need to write about caves!

Data sources: CIA World Factbook for life expectancies, World Health Organization for obesity rates. Wikipedia might have been faster, but nobody trusts Wikipedia. Countries selected for graph were the ones from the report mentioned by the email.

ps yes i know the graph still sucks shut up

Road surface

Fri, 21 Dec 2012 15:40:46 GMT

o_O

Also, The Fitzroy is getting close to being funded! I seriously want this movie people, you have no idea. Also all of those amazing posters. Except that would be like $250 so I'll make do with just one.

I should probably actually get to VPNing in to work now...

Alternate-reality post-apocalyptic 1950s black comedy. On a submarine.

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 14:51:28 GMT

Basically I really really want this movie to be made, so everyone should kick in five bucks (which is, like, three pounds UK, but whatever). THEY ALREADY HAVE THE SUBMARINE LINED UP PEOPLE.

Plus I threw in at a high enough level to get one of those amazing posters, and now my wall will be sad if it is never decorated with such.

are my watermark-making no-steal-wanting ways paranoid enough

man i don't know if they're paranoid enough

Random "me like comics" post.

Wed, 12 Dec 2012 01:17:58 GMT

So after having read through all of Shadoweyes that is online, I'm pretty sure I'm in love with Ross Campbell. Is that a thing that is okay? I hope it's a thing that is okay. His art is pretty and it's a superhero comic where all the characters look different from each other and he named the city after the city in Darkwing Duck. Plus I would play nine separate hells out of Pony Master.

I want to be Sparkle Park when I grow up.

Merrick Legacy, 5.2

Fri, 23 Nov 2012 21:42:42 GMT

If I can't get around to posting a Merrick update during a four-day weekend, then when *can* I?

Previous entries:
Preamble + 1.1
2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 2.4 | 2.5
3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 3.5 | 3.6 | House tour
4.1 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 4.4
5.1

General warning: sometimes I swear.

Last time: Adrian returned home to start generation five of the Merrick family. He married his college flame Kaylynn, they ran off to their honeymoon, and three days later she popped out three kids. Then I went quietly mad trying to keep people moving up their career tracks without the babies starving. But they didn't starve! Kaylynn had strong opinions about ghosts, and I had strong opinions about two of the kids -- Arlene and Doc Boy -- both having the exact same faces. (The third baby, Lyman, inherited the opposite version of almost every facial feature from his sibs.) Arlene made friends with grandpa Michael, who then died; Adrian got fired from his job the very next day, because apparently bereavement leave doesn't exist in this world. Then the kids hit teen and all turned gay!

This time:

Welcome back to the Merrick household, where this happens about 17 times per night!

ghost!Michael: HOW COULD YOU SLEEP THROUGH YOUR POOR WIFE'S TERROR BOO!!!
Adrian: I'msorrydadpleasedon'teatme!

ghost!Michael: HEY I THINK YOUR HUSBAND WANDERED OFF AND LEFT YOU TO FACE ME ALONE BOO!!!
Kaylynn: My bowels :(

Adrian: Um, lady outside the screen, I'm very hungry? I want food please :(

I know, sweetie. Your dad's an asshole. Now eat those nice omelettes I had you cook, hmm?

Adrian: Eggies :3

ghost!Michael: YOU YOUNG PUNKS GET OFF MY LAWN BOO!!!
Lyman: I am filled with equal parts terror and joy! [+5,000]

Knowledge sims.

ghost!Michael: IT'S BEEN FIVE MINUTES WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE BOO!!!
Lyman: Ohmygod, wait till I post about this on my blog!

ghost!Michael: YOU'RE A NERD AND YOU'LL NEVER GET LAID BOO!!!
Lyman: Wait, really? D:

Well, you HAVE not rolled one single romantical want yet, unlike your sibs...

The next afternoon, someone breaks the shower, so I make Doc Boy fix it.

Doc Boy: Yep, time to fix this happy little shower :)

Doc Boy: I WILL KILL YOUR FUCKING FAMILY, SHOWER.

Doc Boy: La la, in my happy place :)

Doc Boy: MY HAPPY PLACE IS FULL OF SCREAMING AND DEATH

At least he got it fixed I guess?

Then I remember that the matchmaker exists, and since the Merricks are like super-rich right now, I call her over post haste.

WHAT

Okay, lady, first of all, Knute is straight. Second of all, HE IS A RELATIVE OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

I'd hide too.

Doc Boy gets a pixel_trade townie who actually isn't straight! Heir spouse ineligible, but a good choice aside from that. You're off your game, gypsy.

A straight girl for Arlene. I stand corrected.

And you can tell it's a boring date, because Arlene spends the whole thing wanting to go steady with aged-up Maxis child Carmen.

All three kids get a second date, too. Doc Boy gets some straight guy I don't bother screenshotting...

...Lyman gets this rather interestingly-chinned young lady, and they hit it off pretty well...

...and Arlene gets a college student named Phineaus which blah blah whatever she still wants to go steady with Carmen.

Phin's a creeper, btw. He literally spent four sim-hours standing in the same place next to Doc Boy's bed, alternating between viewing the painting and viewing the teenager.

And this is AFTER he walked in on (and took a while to walk away from) Adrian and Kaylynn having sex.

Yyyyyep. Real winner there, gypsy.

Although Monica wins the long-distance peeing award for the night!

ghost!Titania: It's okay, sweetie, you'll win next time!
Adrian: GYAAAAH

Oh, and I should probably show the kids with their teenager makeovers, huh.

Arlene somehow came out looking really pretty...

...while Doc Boy came out kind of awkward. Despite the fact that they both have the exact same face.

Lyman, meanwhile, is super-shiny, even after an application of "Enayla makes her skins too shiny so here's some matte powders that exist SOLELY TO CORRECT HER MISTAKES" makeup. And he doesn't have any chance of having inherited the purple eyes which founder Titania had. But I still kind of like him.

I like them all. I have no idea how to pick an heir.

lol red pause line

Kaylynn: Yeah, nice teen makeovers there. Maybe you should show my ADULT makeover which I've had since those kids were BORN, lady-on-the-other-side-of-the-screen-who-I'm-betting-is-not-immortal.

I, um. Er. Please don't hurt me? Look, now everyone can see your everyday clothes instead of the nightgown that I've already posted like twenty pictures of you in.

Kaylynn: YOU WHAT?

Running away now!

YOU JUST WANT TO WATCH THE UNDERAGE BOY SLEEP AND WE ALL KNOW IT.

One evening, every Merrick except one rolls the want to study! Can you guess which one was forced to against his will?

Nice death glare, Doc Boy. :D

Oh, good, underage drinking. And what's got Lyman hitting the bottle...?

Oh. Maybe it's the fact that when I brought the matchmaker over for another round of dates, she hooked Doc Boy up with Pedostalker Phineaus.

...

I think I need a drink now too.

Meanwhile, Adrian and Kaylynn are each just three days away from elder, and since they need the aspiration boost, I send them on a date. In... er... the hallway outside the bathroom.

LOOK THE WALLPAPER MEANS THAT IT IS KIND OF LIKE A TROPICAL VACATION OKAY.

Despite having been married to, and having regular sex with, this woman for over a decade, Adrian is still as much the derpy lovestruck loser as he was back when he was an idiot college boy.

Adrian: Derr I'm dancing with a girrrrl O_O

I'm going to be sad when he dies.

Senility's apparently setting in early, though, as he wants to simultaneously quit and max out his job. And since his LTW is to reach the top, I'm sure as hell not letting him quit now.

It's time for old-people sparkles! Man I really hope Adrian came home with a promotion so he's in platinum when he ages up.

yesssss

Try not to look too excited, there, Aides.

Adrian: Look, Kaylynn! Look! I'm about to spin too! Look! Are you looking?
Kaylynn: Yes dear.

Adrian: Pretty sprinkles 8D
Kaylynn: Yes dear.

They both aged up in platinum, so I have a little while longer before they join the Merrick ghost army.

Fun fact: some players of this game kill their sims as soon as they hit elder.

Because elder sims are "gross".

Some players of this game are assholes.

ghost!jerkface Derek: WON'T BE LONG NOW YOU LITTLE BASTARD
Adrian: MY LEGS

Hah, I was going to have Adrian protest the term "bastard", and then I remembered that he actually is.

Kaylynn gets a chance card her first day of work as an elder, and I'm convinced that I'll pick wrong, she'll get fired, and that will be it for her LTW -- she probably won't make it anyway, she wants $100,000 and she's only at like $40,000, but it's still theoretically possible on a non-elder career track if I have her do a LOT of paintings. So I read the card...

I... I kind of want to play the bunny game. It sounds like something on Adult Swim's website.

On the one hand, yay! She didn't lose her job. On the other hand... how is this a fail? That sounds like the most awesome game ever. I REALLY want to play it now. :( :( :(

Even as Adrian and Kaylynn hit elder, the kids are edging toward young adult. I bring the matchmaker over to airdrop a bunch of people on them for dates; as each date ends, I don't ask them to leave, so I wind up with a bunch of NPCs and playables from other families running around the property. I pay them little mind.

And then, looking for the woman I'd influenced to clean (she cleaned up everything EXCEPT the dirty dishes which were what I actually WANTED cleaned), I found this:

O___O

No! Not, uh, whatever his name was! Phil, right? Yeah, Phil.

Save him, Doc Boy! We already have enough ghosts around here!

Plus his corpse is already stinking and it's not even cold yet.

Death: LET'S SEE HERE... 'PARTY OF THE FIRST PART'...

Death: ...'INDEMNIFY AND HOLD HARMLESS'... BE WITH YOU IN A MINUTE...
Doc Boy: Sure.

Doc Boy: Oh, please don't take Phil! Having had one date with him, during which absolutely nothing romantic happened because he's straight and the gypsy just likes to screw around with everyone, I've realized that I cannot live in a world without him!
Death: NOT THIS AGAIN.

Death: PICK A HAND.
Doc Boy: Uhh...

Doc Boy: YES! In your skeletal FACE! See that, invisible great-great grandpa? I WON!
Death: DAMMIT.

Death: FINE, LET'S DO THIS.
Doc Boy: Er. Um. Wait. He's all floating and...

Doc Boy: I am now questioning my decision.

Phil: UM YEAH YOU JUST SAVED ME FROM DEATH AND ALSO WE ARE FRIENDS BUT NO HUGS KTHX

...

Next time just let him die, Doc Boy.

Is it wrong that I find this little father-son outing completely adorable?

...this view from the doorway of the master bedroom is somewhat less adorable.

ghost!jerkface Derek: WHY DOES MY PORTRAIT HAVE SUCH AN UNPLEASANT FACE. I AM A VERY PLEASANT PERSON.

Thanks, gypsy. You have now dumped this pedo creeper on all three Merrick kids this generation. >:|

Doc Boy: [leaving for college]
Phineaus: [creeping]

Man, this generation is going by fast. College!

WHERE FORREST STILL HAS HOMEWORK LEFT ON THE DESK FROM LAST GENERATION WHAT THE HELL.

LYMAN
Knowledge (LTW: top the medical career)
6 Neat
2 Outgoing
7 Active
10 Playful
3 Nice

Turn-ons/off: swimsuits and glasses/full-face makeup
Bi.

DOC BOY
Fortune (LTW: top the criminal career)
10 Neat
10 Outgoing
1 Active
3 Playful
3 Nice

Turn-ons/off: formalwear and black hair/vampires
Gay.

ARLENE
Family (LTW: marry off six kids)
10 Neat
7 Outgoing
8 Active
3 Playful
3 Nice

Turn-ons/off: fitness and blonds/perfume
Bi.

Now that the kids are young adults, I can see what kind of chemistry they have with other adults, and... and... oh dear.

No, Merricks! Resist the apparent allure of the pedo creeper! You're probably too old for him now anyway!

Given a choice between her three three-bolt matches, Arlene likes the pedo creeper best...

...although at least she seems to realize that there's something wrong with that.

Sadly, my attempts to nudge her toward other, less creepy relationships are not altogether successful.

Matthew: Um, yeah, no, why would I want to go out with you?

GEE I DON'T KNOW MATTHEW.

Lyman fares a lot better, landing a kind of awkward, derpy first kiss on his kind of awkward, derpy date. Well, I mean, she's the sorority girl in a business suit, bunned hair and glasses; you tell me what Maxis was going for there.

Naturally, as soon as their first date together is over, Ly is already eager to pop the question.

Doc Boy, why :(

And yet, because I love these kids, I'm letting them make their share of stupid decisions if that's what they want... even going out with Phineaus again. Arlene gets him first.

Creeper Phineaus: HEY BABY THAT WAS FUN BUT I BET IT'D BE EVEN MORE FUN IF YOU WERE DRUNK

You goddamn pretentious beatnik-looking perv.

I let the kids throw a party, and while Doc Boy rolls this want...

...turns out Lyman is the one who gets his first woohoo.

It's not bad.

Oh, and for like half the party there are parents smustling in the courtyard, fulfilling their duty to embarrass their children. It's probably even MORE embarrassing that both Adrian and Kaylynn dance the smustle really well -- it's, like, omigod, your parents PRACTICE dancing like idiots? And then the derisive laughter.

Cafeteria guy: HOLY MOTHER OF GOD HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING

Good question. We're running about one fire every two days here. All caused by this food service "professional".

I'm going to leave off with a picture that should help sum up how hard I'm finding it to pick an heir here.

These are the kids' relationship panels, sorted by chemistry, and THEY ALL WANT THE SAME PEOPLE OH MY GOD. Well, I mean, the overlap isn't perfect, especially considering that Doc Boy is gay so he doesn't want any of the women that his brother and sister want. But argh. The boys are both attracted to Andrzej, Arlene and Doc Boy are both attracted to Kennedy and Frances, EVERYONE's into Matthew, Anthony, and Phineaus... and I can't even just let everyone have whoever's first in their list, because Arlene's highest chemistry match reacts negatively to flirting even though they're best friends!

And I love all three kids, and was hoping that interesting potential spouse options would help me make a decision, but it's just not turning out that way at all.

STOP BEING SO LOVEABLE YOU DAMN MERRICKS.

I mean, seriously. The house doesn't even have ROOM to triple-heir.

Next time: romance! Drama! Unprotected sex! I pick an heir finally!

I'm glad my insurance covers this critical medication.

Wed, 21 Nov 2012 20:49:57 GMT

The ambulatory pharmacy team here at Epic had a mock go-live this week, with three fake pharmacies around campus where you could go pick up candy which you'd previously prescribed for yourself. Apparently the Jolly Ranchers were a controlled substance.

I work at the best place.

Random post to prove I'm still alive.

Mon, 05 Nov 2012 05:48:18 GMT

Mecha and I just watched an episode of Star Trek TNG where it's a big deal that there's a plague ravaging some planet or other, so the crew of the Enterprise has to get a supply of the vaccine, and it's super important that they get it as soon as possible because lives are on the line and blah blah. Then, at the end of the episode, vaccine in hand, they set off for the doomed planet at... warp 3. Out of the, you know, like 9.5 they can manage. So I was speculating that it was like how if you drive slower you get better gas mileage. But with dilithium crystals instead of gas.

Mecha: Yeah, you get way more parsecs to the crystal at warp 3!
Me: Ahh, but do you get fewer parsecs... to the Kessel Run?

I call this picture "I don't have a problem".

Wed, 03 Oct 2012 03:11:49 GMT

Every Saddleback Leather product I own. Also, my wrinkly, wrinkly sheets.

1 - the briefcase that I got first. It's tobacco brown, but I recently conditioned it, so it's temporarily darkened. They don't look quite like this anymore -- the place where the middle strap attaches to the top flap is fancier on new bags, for instance.
2 - the travel case that I got second, in chestnut. I've seen in real life how a chestnut piece looks when it's been well-worn, because the lead QAer for my team at work has a chestnut satchel (and I have now geeked out about it to him on two occasions several years apart, which is a whole other hilariously embarrassing story since I forgot the first time but he didn't). I look forward to my bag attaining that very nice patina.

I use the travel case for work and the briefcase for travel. It's how I roll.

3, 4, and 5 - wallet, two cable pouches, and a Moleskine cover, all in tobacco brown, all bought last month.

A and B are keyfobs that came free with shipments 2 and 3-5. I almost wish I wanted stuff in coffee brown or black, so I could buy them and get keyfobs in those colors as well. Even though I don't use them because I already have a leather keyfob that was actually made for me.

I don't have a problem.

*huffs wallet*

The wild developer in its natural habitat.

Tue, 02 Oct 2012 03:06:29 GMT

Okay, so I am one of the many developers who create Epic's software, right? That being not anything from Epic Games, but the EMR system from Epic Systems Corporation. And to do coding and testing in it, we have to have a bunch of internal environments, and have a copy of the application itself on our computers. And since we just released the 2012 version a few weeks ago, a full upgrade to the next version has been done on the internal environments. Meaning we had to run the updater to get the new version installed on our machines. (I don't really understand the logic behind how they manage the versioning but my simplified explanation is fairly accurate.)

Fellow developer Guy Who Knows Everything (hereafter known as GWKE) and fellow developer + officemate Mary (hereafter known as Mary) both installed and tried to run the application before I'd gotten to it, and while GWKE had it error all over him and refuse to work, Mary had no such difficulties. After we discussed this, GWKE went back to his office, and sometime later, this email chain came into being.

From: GWKE
To: Me
So I found out why my install wasn’t working – I was using the old shortcut I had pinned to the task bar – which was still the [last] version...

From: Me
To: GWKE
Aha! And that’s why mine didn’t work either. I should’ve thought of that before I started in on a manual uninstall/reinstall.

From: GWKE
To: Me
So Mary outsmarted us both...

From: Me
To: GWKE
CC: Mary
...I’m sad now.

Just some Sims stuff.

Sat, 29 Sep 2012 23:35:12 GMT

The Xbox is in the same room as a studying mecha, so I'm holding off on busting out that lended copy of Saints Row 2. Thus, Sims.

Nirapama: I'm feelin' pretty good right about now!

Nirapama: Wait, maybe I'm not.
Gopal: What the hell is even going on here?!

Potty-training mishap. The toddler came back out of her chest when he was done.

Also:

"Flash powder" is the name of the color. There is a set of natural hair colors created by a former member of the Sims community which other creators can apply to hairs, and they all have vaguely explodey names, like one of the reds is Molotov.

That's not the part of the name that made me post about it, though.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a new wallet, and I wish to huff its leathery goodness.

Merrick Legacy, 5.1

Sat, 29 Sep 2012 03:26:00 GMT

Huh. Maybe I should finally get this post up before I spend the weekend playing the copy of Saints Row 2 that someone at work so kindly lent me. Murderous rampages :D :D :D

Previous entries:
Preamble + 1.1
2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 2.4 | 2.5
3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 3.5 | 3.6 | House tour
4.1 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 4.4

General warning: sometimes I swear.

Last time: Generation 4 of the Merrick family enjoyed college, with all its books and naked people. I made them all go on dates, and Aldo annoyed me by having a fresh combo of personality points, dark skin, AND a three-bolt sweetie with S4 skin and an interesting face... but incredibly boring facial features. It was pretty early on that I decided that the delightfully derpy Adrian would become heir. Meanwhile, Toby talked to invisible people, Kurt got stalked by dormies, Drew was... uh... kind of boring, apparently... and everyone wound up proposing to someone they wuved. Also Kurt and Toby got knocked up. Then Adrian came back to the ancestral manse to start the next generation!

This time:

All right, let's do this thing.

Boom! Kaylynn!

Blam! Merricks!

Ker-pow! More Merricks, most of whom I never set formalwear for!

Some formation Smustling...

And standing under a rose-bedecked arch with a lovely woman in a... black dress? Huh. Odd choice, K.

It's a wedding!

And so, as the happy couple pledges their... love...

...to each other...

...

Kurt is a creeper. Maybe he's been taking lessons from his husband Forrest?

Actually, I just put the arch backwards way back when I built the wedding area in generation 3. Michael never used it in gen 4 because he never got married. Now Adrian's using it and I'm discovering my mistake.

Everyone: Yay! Something is happening on the other side of these trees possibly! [clap clap clap]

Kaylynn: Hey, do you hear something on the other side of those trees?
Adrian: Mmmphgm.

I forgot to buy a cake, so no getting to see if Adrian is a smusher.

Dang. Some other not-established-legacy household probably could've used all that money.

For the record, Kaylynn? Apparently very eager to get going on her honeymoon.

She comes back pregnant, because of ACR. Then the next three days are pretty boring because I just have her and Adrian skill. Kaylynn even goes to work while pregnant, because she's a Fortune sim and will go insane if she can't make moneys.

And I redecorate the heir bedroom, of course. It's in red for Adrian and orange for Kaylynn, who was wearing orange as a dormie so why not. Even though she ran around in her llama cultist blazer most of the time.

After three days, it's baby time, and...

um

wut

Good thing we have three adults to hold those three babies.

Left to right: Doc Boy, with the Merrick purple eyes and brown hair; Lyman, with Adrian's mom Daisy's blue eyes and brown hair; and Arlene, the one girl, with Kaylynn's gray eyes and more brown hair. I wish there wasn't so much pale skin here, but it's interesting that each triplet got one of the three inheritable eye colors that their parents had to offer.

For some reason, Grandma Daisy shows up, in a bikini, to stare at her grandchildren for a while. Which is... cute, I guess? Let's assume cute.

Also! The Other Haffa Changing Table does not play well with the Radiance lighting system. In that it turns your babies into Black Baby Beel.

Whichever baby this was: DABU.

Oh my god you guys house with three babies D: D: D:

Although Michael is apparently having the time of his life. He keeps rolling one want after another to teach the kids stuff once they hit toddler -- this is what his wants panel looks like AFTER I let him teach Arlene to talk and potty.

Also? Toddler dance party.

I haven't really shown Kaylynn, not even after making her over, which is sort of sad for her. However, I can promise you that she's definitely been welcomed to the Merrick family in the most exciting way possible.

You're one of us now! :D

I also haven't done much screenshotting of the toddlers because, well, they're toddlers. They play with their toys and yell for attention and need to be taught how to pee in a bucket. Also, I think the boys are faceclones of each other.

Kaylynn: FUCK GHOSTS :D :D :D
Adrian: Yes, dear.

Kaylynn: :D

Adrian: I like omelettes. :3

Kaylynn: Seriously, dude. Ghosts blow.
Adrian: . o O ( Eggies are tasty. )

Kaylynn: And the next time I see one of those undead bastards, I'm gonna...
Adrian: . o O ( Tasty with peppers an' tomatoes an' onions... )

Kaylynn: ...well, I'm not sure what I'll do, actually. I mean, they're already dead.
Adrian: . o O ( Oooh! And cheese! )

Kaylynn: I just really don't like ghosts. :(
Adrian: Nummy num cheese!

Oh, and good news you guys!

Lyman and Doc Boy aren't faceclones!

It's actually Doc Boy and Arlene.

*headdesk*

Lyman has his dad's mouth and his mom's nose; the others have their mom's mouth and their dad's nose. And Lyman has a different jaw, but I'm not sure whose is whose there.

And they all have brown hair, which means any one of 'em could have the recessive blonde that's been passed down since Titania founded this whole shebang. Doc Boy also has Titania's eyes, and Arlene could potentially have them in her recessive slot. Lyman's a special snowflake there, too -- since he's displaying Adrian's maternal-side blue, he can't have Adrian's paternal-side purple.

ghost!jerkface Derek: Um, hello! Who cares about Adrian's dumb little brats when I AM MISSING MY SHIRT!

Huh, so you are.

ghost!jerkface Derek: And the afterlife is pretty fuckin' cold, for your information.

ghost!jerkface Derek: FIND MY SHIRT OR I WILL CUT YOU.

Yikes.

It takes me a couple of real-life days to figure out what happened to his shirt. I do already know at this point that my pollination technicians appear to have gone on vacation -- alien impregnation isn't happening at all, not even when I force it with cheats -- and some (but not all) sims I dumped into the SavedSims folder aren't showing up in the Sim Bin in-game.

*gasp* A Sims 2 game? Slowly but surely becoming unstable and glitchy for no apparent reason, and without any particular change aside from normal gameplay? THAT'S UNPOSSIBLE!

Sarcasm aside, jerkface Derek woke Kaylynn up like 25679327842 times that night, presumably because he blamed her for his missing shirt. DUDE IT WAS NOT HER FAULT GAH.

As Michael nears the end of his days, it becomes apparent that he doesn't get on well with either his grandson Doc Boy...
Doc Boy: Lol! Flowers are so lame, old man!

...or his other grandson Lyman.
Lyman: WHAT I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LIKE MONEY

Lyman: D8
Doc Boy: Heh. Flowers.

But he and Arlene are besties, and as soon as I realized/remembered that kids could get in the photobooth, I decided that he would satisfy his "take a photo" wish with her. And now the photo hangs over her bed.

Arlene: I'm gonna see who used the guitar, k grandpa?
Michael: That's nice, kiddo. Gramps will be with you soon as he finishes pissing himself in terror.

The ghosts are really getting kind of ridiculous.

And speaking of ghosts...

One fine night around 5:50, Michael goes out to play the drums that have mysteriously appeared in the backyard. Arlene approves of this.

Then Arlene dances as Michael continues to play.

For hours.

At last, Michael's elderly bladder can take no more, and he gets up. I prepare myself to say goodbye -- he's survived the 6:00 age-transition turnover by over five hours, but his lifebar is still full, and I know he won't be seeing the sun come up tomorrow.

Then he... walks calmly to the toilet.

And after he's done in there, he sits in his room for a while.

Then, at 1:00, he gets up to tuck in one of the kids. Except Grim finally shows up instead, totally ruining what could have been pretty much the d'aww-ing-est moment ever.

Michael: Hey skullface, you maybe wanna back up off me with them damn bony fingers? Unless you want me to feed them to you. Because I swear I'll do it.

Death: LOOK, JUST TAKE THE SUITCASE AND THE DRINK, ALL RIGHT? I DIDN'T COME HERE LOOKING FOR A FIGHT.

And then Michael realizes that he is going to a place where there are both scantily-clad girls and booze.
Michael: Giggity.

Michael: This isn't actually my suitcase, but whatever!

Michael: o/~ Ohhh, I'm gonna get drunk, and I'm gonna get laid... o/~

Michael was very popular in the community.

Death: UGH, FINALLY. I'M OUT OF HERE. GET THE LIGHTS, WILL YOU, GLADYS?
Hula zombie: Sure thing, boss! [click]

And that's all. The house is silent now. The whole family slept through Michael's death; they won't even have a chance to react until they wake up in the morning.

The next day, Adrian goes to work, and for some reason finds it somewhat difficult! Maybe it's, oh, I dunno, HE WOKE UP TO FIND HIS DAD'S COLD CORPSEY ASHES THAT MORNING.

But nobody cares.

Adrian: A-derrrp :(

I know, sweetie. I'm sorry.

Adrian: Oh, no, and I wound up coming home at the same time as Kaylynn... this is so embarrassing...

Adrian: OH COME ON!

Dang, that is some awkward timing.

Adrian: Kaylynn I don't know what to doooo I hope you still love me even though I'm a faaaailure :( :( :(

Good news, everyone! Adrian found something to do.

He went right over to the hot tub as soon as he was done pouting. It'd be cute if it wasn't so desperate.

That night is triplet birthday tiemz! Doc Boy's a little slow.

Arlene, LTW to marry off six kids...

Lyman, LTW to top the medical career just like his dad wants to...

Doc Boy, LTW to become a criminal mastermind like great-grandpa jerkface Derek.

The kids all reroll wants, and while this entry in Lyman's panel is familiar...

...this one is not. Come on, Lyman! You weren't enemies with grandpa! Wanting to see his ghost is just creepy. (I still locked it.)

After all, ghosts are a frequent sight around these parts. Doc Boy got scared twice his first night as a teen, and his bed isn't even in their upstairs stomping grounds.

Oh, come on! I fixed your shirt! Why won't you stop whining for at least a night now that I've fixed your shirt?

Michael's doing it now too. :(

I am completely tired of all the same old dating options from the last four generations, so I age up a half-dozen townie children into teens, and then have the Merrick youngsters check them out. Turns out that makes everyone gay. Whoops.

Aaaaand then my computer overheats and shuts down and the aging-up never happened (plus I lose a hilarious picture of ghost!jerkface Derek yelling about being lonely while two of the Merrick kids are on dates right behind him). At least now that I'm finally forced to get around to dusting out all my vents, I get to enjoy the experience of NOT having the cooling fan running on high 24/7, including when I get up in the morning and the computer hasn't been touched in eight hours.

But don't worry, I age the townie kids up again and all the Merrick kids are still gay. (Actually Arlene and Lyman are bi, but whatever. They're still HOMMASEKSHULS MABEL GET MAH GUN.)

And that's as good a time to stop as any! Tune in next time, when I try to figure out who would make the best heir. Two of the kids are faceclones of each other, so potential spouses will definitely be major deciding factors.

Next time: once again, possibly the gen 2 spares update, if I can ever get around to webifying the pictures. Or more gen 5. I have another update played already. With the heir STILL completely undecided.